Top ten Signs You Really Have Become a Ferenje.

10. You complain that the "sinibit" ceremony at Ethiopian weddings is "a major buzz killer."

9. You've ever, ever EVER attended a pet funeral.

8. You meQeyem your friends for not coming to YOUR pet's funeral.

7. You volunteer to buy every parishoner at the local Ethiopian church a personalized velvet pillow... to make sigdet a more comfortable ritual.

6. You keep wondering how Alcoholics Anonymous got its initials on every license plate in Addis.

5. You home-diagnose and tolerate your beTbach son as a victim of A.D.D, instead of the Q'tafi, dimajam brat that he is, well overdue for samma girrifat and berbere mettaTen.

4. You send a card to a pet funeral. You send a card to any funeral. Period.

3. You forbid anyone from singing "Ité-mété, yelomi shita" to your kids because of its dubious family values. (Remember, "tidarun fetto liwsedish alegn"?)

2. While on a visit to Addis A'ba, you leap up in indignation and insist on mastaTeb-ing the serategna.

… and the number one reason you need to enroll yourself in deema Gebre Markos ASAP…

1. You show up at church in a T-shirt, shorts and sandals and refuse to take your sandals off, but generously offer to take off your shirt if worshippers are offended by the satanic logos on the front and back.

Scoring: 1 or above--Egzio maheregne Kristos! Egzio maheregne Kristos! Egzio maheregne Kristos!  (Enebel asra huletay...)  Be ente egzetineh Mariam maheregne Kristos... (Enebel asra huletay...)